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Gossip. All humans partake in some form. In fact, a 1993 observational study found that male participants spent 55% of conversation time and female participants spent 67% conversation time on “the discussion of socially relevant topics.”
So it seems to be normal and even sometimes beneficial. But when gossip starts to become malicious backbiting, it is not that good anymore.
Next time you hear some malicious talk, turn it around. Find something positive about the person it’s about or reframe the situation.
You’ll see that the conversation gets a more positive energy.
This needs maybe some exercise and mindfulness, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes a fun challenge.
Tip for today
Reframe malicious talk to something positive.
Want some examples on how to do this?
X says: “Did you see Cindy’s outfit at the party? So ugly!”
You say: “you may find it ugly. I admire her courage to wear this.”
X says: “Wow, Peter had gained some serious weight. He looks like a fat pig.”
You say: “Yes, I noticed. But his smile is now even cuter than ever.”
X says: “Oh my god, I hate it that Jef is so lazy: bingewatching, sleeping, checking his phone, all without leaving his favorite couch the whole day …”
You say: “Well, that is a characteristic I miss. It must be amazing to be able to just lie there and not feeling guilty. Wish I could do that more.”
X says: “Pff, Emily was nagging and complaining again, she is such a negative person.”
You say: “It is nice though, that Emily trusts you so much. I am sure she appreciates it that she can ventilate her frustrations to you.”
X says: “Dirk was biting my nose of, such an arrogant prick.”
You say: “He probably had a stressful day, give him some slack (and be happy you still have your beautiful nose ;-)).”
I wonder what these two are gossiping about ….